Get yourself a goal in life or fade away

Is life course a consequence of your decisions or random events?

Most of the people I met are just drifting through their life. Some of them look serious and reliable, some look gorgeous, other smell dangerous or self decaying. But for me, they are all the same kind - a paper boat in a stream.

This is a nearly exact portrait of an intelligent, educated person, open to new experience, with rich inner world and deep feelings… but with lack of any distinct life goal.

All we start from different ‘initial conditions’. Some have many years to get good education and plan their life. Others have to start to work at teenage.

Nevertheless, we all make decisions. Should I go to a bar or read some new book? Should I get that job with higher salary or another - with possibly higher perspectives? The decisions we make can push our ‘paper ship’ a little to this or that direction, but we never know what is there in the future ahead.

Some people say, that nothing in life is random. If you ask a president of a big company was his or her success a result of random events or a result of his or her brilliance, what reply you would expect? On the other side, if you ask a terminally ill person: is his illness caused by his incorrect decisions or is it a cruel coincidence - what answer you would probably get? Do these extreme cases have something in common?

I believe that we all are like paper boats that are floating through streams of life. These paper boats obey wind and water currents. But you can nudge the boat a little to one side or the other, avoiding pitfalls and sinking. Your decisions are as important as random events.

A goal for life is not about ‘visualizing your positive future’. It is about decision you make. Do what you should and let the things happen.

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Not having a goal is normal

Since major part of population did not bother getting a goal - it is considered to be normal.

Generally speaking, no matter which way you choose, in either case it will lead you to death. Besides, the sun will explode some day, killing life on our planet. And even if humanity survives the universe itself will not last forever!

Life of an average human lasts about 0.0000000006 of the age of the universe. So the question arises: why should we ever bother about getting any goal for life? Besides, the universe will either collapse or cool down or expand and also cool down. I mean, it will come to an end, and no human can affect that.

For a more detailed understanding of modern science view on the future of the universe have a look at this video:

TIMELAPSE OF THE FUTURE: A Journey to the End of Time

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Fake goals are not okay

Some might believe that they have, of course, some goal for their life. So it is important to specify clearly what I don’t accept as a goal for life:

Small goals are not enough

A trip on a vacation is not a life goal. Building of a house is also too small task.

Only big and hard-to-achieve goal can motivate you for a prolonged period of time.

Self-developing is not a goal

Unless you specify what exactly you are developing. For instance: becoming a better person - is not a goal, since it is hardly measurable. But becoming a professional in finance management, for example - is a fair goal, as it could be easily verified.

Being happy is not a goal

Happiness is an emotion, a positive feedback, that reinforces successful behavior. A cocktail of endorphins, dopamine and serotonin that your brain gets when you did something good for you. For instance, stress is also a feedback, with a negative sign, which helps us learn to avoid bad behavior.

You can not be constantly happy, nor you can not be constantly sad. If you are constantly sad - you are probably sick of depression. If you are constantly happy - you should better call psychiatrist.

Changing the world is not a goal

Unless you specify in details what you want to achieve. The world was here long before you, and it will probably continue after you die. If you want to achieve peace in the world - you have chosen a dream but not a goal. But if you want to decrease the rate of death by firearm in Oklahoma - you can work with that.

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How to choose a goal?

One might ask: “Alright, mister! You don’t like our goals. So tell us some examples of worthy goals”. Well, it could be anything.

You are probably familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Despite it is being criticized, it “explains human nature as something that most humans immediately recognize in themselves and others”. This theory explains that the goal that suits you the most significantly depends on the conditions you live in.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You would hardly think about morality or creativity while you are struggling to survive.

It is useless to discuss the rate of death by firearm with a person who has no food or shelter. But it also does not mean, that this person could not have any other goal in his life. You need to remember that your goal is not better than anyone’s else goal.

Here I can give a short list of examples of goals, that are worthy from my point of view.

• Eat. Survive. Reproduce.

  This is at least fair and distinct goal. Nowadays, it assumes you have to find a partner and gain enough profit for your family to buy a house, to grow up kids and give them good education.

  

• Become famous. Some people know since childhood, that they would like to become famous. I respect their goal even though it is not for me.

• Make great Capital. Grow up a business, become an ingenious investor, rob a bank, etc.

• Create new scientific theory of everything.

• Create new drug that cures some tough disease.

• Build up new astonishing buildings.

• Prove that there is God. Or prove that there is not one.

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Your life changes when you have a life goal

Like I said before, not having goal is ok. But I would like to share with you some benefits that you get if you have some goal.

1. You realize that life is too short. And you don’t have much time to achieve your goal. So you should try hard and do your best. But even so it is not guaranteed that you will eventually achieve your goal.

2. You now don’t have free time to kill. Indeed, no more useless TV-shows or computer games. Get back to work!

3. You can now quickly evaluate what is important and what is not. Things and events that might help to realize your goal are important. Others - are not.

4. You start to appreciate those rare moments when you spend time with your partner or with your friends. Because your can’t achieve your goal if you don’t take any rest.

5. You now get the super ability to see whether other people have or don’t have any life-goals. I don’t know how it works. But I asked people to verify my first suspicions and was almost always correct.

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My experience

I must confess, I did not have any goal before 2014. Of course, I thought differently before that.

Now that I have some goals I work hard trying to achieve them. But if you expected to find here description of my goals then sorry… you won’t. Instead, you may find a picture of a man with a goal for life:

This is a nearly exact portrait of a person who has a life-goal and tries to choose paths that might help to fulfill it.

P.S. And yes, this story is here for some purpose. And also because me and my girlfriend are having some nice weekend with a bottle of wine :)

Do not take it too seriously and ‘burn it before reading’ :)